In the previous article, we talked about the first four tips of Dr. Agnes Ip’s “Correcting Children’s Behavior without Yelling or Hitting” seminar, which made me realize: guiding children requires your willingness to “spend time” and your unconditional “love”. If you feel that your children are often “unmotivated, having many issues, like to spend money, and hate studying”, and you wish they could be “obedient, well-behaved, positive and motivated”, I hope Dr. Ip’s remaining four tips can help you .
Tip 5 “Timely Discipline”:
In order to seize the opportunity, sometimes we have to let go of what we are doing. Whenever a child makes a mistake, an immediate correction on the spot often gives twice the result for half the effort, which can also impact the child deeply.
Tip 6 “Set Appropriate Goals”:
Parents can help their children set reachable goals, but not too many. Most importantly, no matter whether the child can achieve his goals or not, your love for the child is always consistent and unchanging, not based on the child’s achievements.
Tip 7 “Develop Inner Motivation”:
Avoid material rewards, instead, try to inspire children to develop spontaneous motivation, and acknowledge all their efforts.
Tip 8 “Cultivate and Protect a Pure Mind”:
If parents are consistent with their words and deeds, and not eager for quick success, they can subconsciously encourage children to study and work hard with pure motivation.
Dr. Ip repeatedly emphasized the “love of parents”: disciplining children based on your own mood and feelings is often ineffective. We need to replace rough words with gentle and loving actions, and replace negative scolding, rebukes, and even punishments with calm guidance. Reality shows are very popular nowadays. When you look around, you will realize every family has its own “reality show”. Children’s eyes and ears are in fact the high-definition cameras, which constantly record the family’s daily audio and video data. Those childhood pictures can always be taken out and replayed in their minds. If parents can “spend time” and “love” and practice the eight tips introduced by Dr. Ip, I think our children can be “obedient, well-behaved, always positive and motivated”. When parents care for their children attentively, children will make parents less worried; when parents are eager to learn, children will be more diligent; when parents know how to use their words appropriately, children will become more obedient.
The Bible says, “for everything you do flows from it (your heart)” (Proverbs 4:23). When we are willing to take the time to nurture our hearts and guide our children with love and respect, that is the greatest secret in nurturing an obedient child.